6 Things to get me for my Birthday

March 29th, 2012 by Theresa

(or Christmas/Yule or any other occasion where a bribe is needed)


That’s right. My birthday is coming up. For those that know my real age, please pick the item of your choice off this list as a bribe to keep your silence.   Instead of the ever popular list of what to get writers and creative type people, I’ll tell you what I want. Here’s why:

Creatives, be they writers, painters, musicians or third degree existentialist sculptors, are quirky people.  We have our mini obsessions, are maxi hatreds and completely unexplainable love of strange things.  I can guarantee you that if you run to a generic list of what to get creatives, you’re gonna strike out. You know the fake surprised look? Yeah. No one likes to see it. No one likes to give it.

Save yourself some time and flat out ask what your Quirky Creative person what they want. Hell, make it a drinking game or a “what if” conversation. Ask them about the worst and best gift they ever got and make a map from there. Trust me on this.

Here we go:






1.  Museum Tickets/Trips.  I love museums. Don’t really care exactly what they are for – except for the icky human body exhibits. Some stuff we are not meant to get charged admission to see. I love seeing new things, old things, strange things, things that I just had to take a picture of because NO ONE would believe I saw it.  History, shoes, soap (Yes, I have a picture of Octogan Soap. You had to be there.), art in its many forms, music, food – it doesn’t matter. However, be prepared for me to dig out my sketchpad and make notes. A Creative’s work is never done.












2. Alcohol – whatever my current poison is. This month is tequila – the good stuff! I keep it by my desk so I can take a hit when the stress bombards me and I need to chill the f_ck out.  I’ve got a bottle of Don Abrahams Silver that I’ve been working on for two years. HINT HINT.  I like to explore my vice in this instance. This particular brand has a bite and smoothness that I learned to appreciate while I was in Mexico. By the way, if you ever get to Mexico try crossing the street nowhere near a crosswalk. The harrowing experience will change your life.






3. Movie Tickets. I dig the movies. I love movie posters. I even sit through the bloody credits. With a full time job and life, I rarely make the time to enjoy two hours of pure mind numbing entertainment.  Yes, that means I watch Michael Bay movies – anyone else gets my creative brain running again. Give me big explosions, long yet expertly choreographed fight scenes, bad punch lines, worse dubbing, or enough CGI to make Deep Thought wince  and I’m a happy girl!








4.  Gift Cards to “Insert Coffee Shop Name Here.”  Why? Because there are times I need to escape the house, responsibilities and chores, grab my laptop and zone out in a place where I don’t have to pick up my dishes.    It’s freeing to know that all I have to do is tip my barista – who makes a killer soy latte with *just* the right amount of foam –and I can ignore dirty dishes, coffee spills and a dirty floor. Not my job!




5.  A Crown. Not just any crown. But one like this:


Why? Because everyone woman needs a crown. I already got the boots!









6. Cash.  I left this one for last. Normally people will tell you that giving cold hard cash is tacky. Screw them.  Cash is good for a very interesting reason. Most creative types have a secret project for which they are quietly saving their pennies. Yes that’s why they are mooching meals and making your flyers for a cup of coffee.  A lot of things make sense now doesn’t it?  They’ll never tell you about it. Don’t try to figure out what it is.   You’ll see them anxiously awaiting the postman or parcel delivery person for some odd shaped box that squeaks or wiggles on its own.  They’ll have a very scary grin on their face as they return from some store that’s three hours out of town bearing a very small box they have plunked a mortgage payment on. Look, don’t ask questions.   Just go with it.  Whatever they are working on will complete some part of their soul in ways you can’t pronounce – once they have that last piece that your gift of sweet lovely cash will purchase.  Yes, I do have a Secret Project – it’s a few dollars short… Just saying….



, , , , , , ,

  • Comments Off on 6 Things to get me for my Birthday
  • Posted in Birthday, Food