Case Dismissed ~ Flash Fiction

April 25th, 2013 by Theresa

“Ready to make your statement?”

The prisoner sat up in his seat, chains jingling.  He wiped his split lip on his sleeve then spat a glob of bloody mucus to the floor.

“I’ll take that as a yes.  Prisoner 12432, please tell the court the events that contributed to the death of Renard Belgier and his associates?”

The prisoner leaned forward to the microphone clearing his throat.  “I was provoked.”

The courtroom became a hub of hushed conversations.  The Judge’s gavel banged a few times to regain control of the room. With a wave of the instrument, he prompted me to continue.

“Please, Prisoner 12432, explain? We all would like to know what happened.”

The prisoner’s dark  gaze shot through me. “I’ll tell what went down.  That damn vampire snatched me and my sister off the street. He drained Kelli before my eyes. His little pals? They chewed on the meat of my only kin to get every last drop of blood out. And as they let me watch, you know what they said? ‘Nothing personal, kid. We just needed a snack.’  The rage sang through my veins and I blacked out.”

“As you can see, Your Honor,” I continued turning back to the judge. “My client is a latent berserker. He’s no a threat to society – unprovoked, that is.”

The judge rolled his eyes. “Prisoner 12432,  now known as Ian Richmond,  we find you innocent of murder.  We reduce your sentence to time served. Case dismissed.”

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The Man of Her Dreams ~ Flash Fiction

November 20th, 2012 by Theresa

“Mary!” Frank’s voice boomed across the half empty church.  His voice echoed off the high ceilings as he called her again. “Mary! Please!”

Mary finally emerged from the office behind the altar. Frank’s breath caught. She was radiant and more beautiful than ever. He had to make his case now.

“Honey I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. Please give me another chance!” Frank got on his knees ignoring the shocked whispers around him. He reached for her hands and kissed them both.  “I promise from this day forward,  in front of God and everyone here, that I will be the man you want. I will love you forever and never leave you.”

Mary stood speechless.  She looked desperately around the crowd and behind her.   Frank saw confusion in her face then relief.  Frank smiled. ‘I’ve got her back,’ he thought.

“Sorry, that job’s taken.” The bass voice didn’t come from Mary. It came from a man exiting the same office. Dressed in a tuxedo, the big man reached a hand to Frank to help him up.  The big man patted him on the shoulder. “Nice try, though.”

“Mr. and Mrs. McDever?” A smiling chauffeur stood at the church doors. “Your limousine’s’ ready!”

Frank stumbled back and sat heavily on the floor of the church. Tears falling, he watched the love of his life walk away with the man of her dreams.

 

 

Honorable Mention on Thursday Threads with Siobahn Muir

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What’s at stake?

January 22nd, 2012 by Theresa

It is no secret that I hate vampires.  There are many reasons for my level of distaste.  The main reason?  Burn out.  I have read – and wrote about vampires for the past 20 years.  I am DONE.  Now that does not mean I do not enjoy a good vampire movie or two providing there are many ways that vampires die.

 

How to kill a vampire let me count the ways:

 

1:  For the traditionalist there is the ever-present wooden stake to the heart.  While easy to get through metal detectors and compostable, not so good on the environment.  My advice?  Recycle and Reuse wood.  Hey, is there some kind of service I can start for Green Vampire Hunters?  Regardless, you can take your pick of flashy ways the body disintegrates – as long as the bloodsucker ends up dead.

 

2: Depending on your type of vampire, there is sun light or UV light.  This is one of my personal favorites.  Nothing starts my day off right like frying a fanged fiend.  However, do not get cocky.  Please be sure to keep extra batteries in the vehicle when you go hunting.  One word of warning, some vampires are smart.  They have learned to use sunblock or sunscreen 5000 SPF.  Here is where our next way of killing vampires comes in handy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3: On the topic of garlic, it depends on your type of vampire.  Whether half or whole be sure to add lemon juice and holy water to your garlic concoction.  That way should neither the garlic nor the water work, the lemon juice will stop them in their tracks for precious seconds (and if they are wearing sunblock will wash away some of it) – for you to stake them.

 

4: Silver weapons are farther down the list as they are a relatively new way of killing the undead.  Sure it works for werewolves and some shifters, but only recently and only for some kind of vampires.  To be on the safe side use your sober weapon of choice to blow their heads off then take your handy with a stake and finish the job.  The double tap rule is in effect here.

 

Five: The trickiest way to kill a vampire is to get his friends to do it for you.  It takes cunning and determination and is doable – especially with the stupid ones.  Once you have them  betraying each other, sit back relax and watch the show –  keeping your stake handy.

 

Those are my top five ways to smite your average every day vampire.  “But Tee,” you say “what about holy water?”  My response?  What if your vampire was a Buddhist?  Yeah I thought so!

So how many ways would you kill a vampire?

 

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Looking ahead to 2012

December 31st, 2011 by Theresa

 

 

No, it won’t be the end of the world.

It will be a beginning, a reset button if you will. This is the time where we as North Americans make New Year’s Resolutions to be better people, quit smoking, shed unwanted pounds and a whole host of other quirks we don’t like about ourselves.  As many of us know, we last about a month in the new year to give up changing for the better.  I am indeed one of these people. Next year, I’m going to do something different.

My only true resolution for 2012 is to work  S.M.A.R.T.E.R.

In that way of thinking here’s what I endeavor to achieve:

  • 1. 12-15 new blog posts next year – one a month and a few extras just in case something cool happens!
  • 2.  Three manuscripts to cross the finish line – critiques, revised, submitted. One every four months.  (See the  Million Word March Meter)
  • 3. More chatting with you! Be it email, Twitter, Facebook , Tumblr or Google+ weekly.  This will include pictures as I can!
  • 4. Connecting with new readers and authors throught the year. Posting on the various forums I’ve joined in the past year at least twice.

 

ANNNND those are the smartes goals I can make. See you next year!

Theresa

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