August 22nd, 2012 by Theresa

Sabrina gasped at the headlines. “Friday the 13^th   Is Bad Luck for Prominent Lawyer Indicted on 300 Counts of Fraud – Email Records Exposed.”

Shaking her head, Sabrina set down her newspaper. With their divorce final, there was no way she could have known about it.  Only Sophie could have guessed. That cat spent more time on Brett’s laptop than he did.  She missed that cat. Hearing a faint scratching at the door, Sabrina opened it to find Sophie sitting there washing her paws.

“Serves him right for hurting you,” said the cat. “My name was a terrible password. Is there cream?”

August 16th, 2012 by Theresa

“I don’t want to kill you bastards! Fine! Die then!”  Paul always liked to hear himself talk.

Gunshot echoed everywhere. Spraying blood mixed with the rain. Teeth and claws glinted in the small flashes of light. My hands ached from squeezing the trigger and reloading. Bodies stacked up around us in the dark of day. We had enough silver ammo to take down a pack twice their size.  We were in the wrong spot in Central Park at the right time.  Hours later, it was over.

I looked up through the rain.  The storm and ash cloud that covered the earth the month before looked the same.  Who would believe that Mt Everest would blow? None knew how long we would be in the dark.  None realized that werewolves were just as scared as the rest of the humans. We quickly found the control for the lighting system and got the park lit.

“This is insane,” Paul muttered. “Why the hell would they all attack now? The Lieutenant ain’t gonna like this.”

“He’s gonna love it,” I said finally.

“You drunk?” Paul hitched up his gun and began to stack bodies.

“Nope.” I rolled a few bodies over and found my shovel. Finding a wide open space I began to dig. Had to get the bodies under dirt fast. Who knew what else was out there?

“So why is he gonna love it?”

“It must be a full moon,” I said between shovels of dirt. “We can tell time again.”

As appeared on  #ThursThreads – The Challenge That Ties Tales Together – Week 34 with Siobhan Muir on August 16, 2012

http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.ca/2012/08/thursthreads-challenge-that-ties-tales.html

January 22nd, 2012 by Theresa

It is no secret that I hate vampires.  There are many reasons for my level of distaste.  The main reason?  Burn out.  I have read – and wrote about vampires for the past 20 years.  I am DONE.  Now that does not mean I do not enjoy a good vampire movie or two providing there are many ways that vampires die.

How to kill a vampire let me count the ways:

1:  For the traditionalist there is the ever-present wooden stake to the heart.  While easy to get through metal detectors and compostable, not so good on the environment.  My advice?  Recycle and Reuse wood.  Hey, is there some kind of service I can start for Green Vampire Hunters?  Regardless, you can take your pick of flashy ways the body disintegrates – as long as the bloodsucker ends up dead.

2: Depending on your type of vampire, there is sun light or UV light.  This is one of my personal favorites.  Nothing starts my day off right like frying a fanged fiend.  However, do not get cocky.  Please be sure to keep extra batteries in the vehicle when you go hunting.  One word of warning, some vampires are smart.  They have learned to use sunblock or sunscreen 5000 SPF.  Here is where our next way of killing vampires comes in handy.

3: On the topic of garlic, it depends on your type of vampire.  Whether half or whole be sure to add lemon juice and holy water to your garlic concoction.  That way should neither the garlic nor the water work, the lemon juice will stop them in their tracks for precious seconds (and if they are wearing sunblock will wash away some of it) – for you to stake them.

4: Silver weapons are farther down the list as they are a relatively new way of killing the undead.  Sure it works for werewolves and some shifters, but only recently and only for some kind of vampires.  To be on the safe side use your sober weapon of choice to blow their heads off then take your handy with a stake and finish the job.  The double tap rule is in effect here.

Five: The trickiest way to kill a vampire is to get his friends to do it for you.  It takes cunning and determination and is doable – especially with the stupid ones.  Once you have them  betraying each other, sit back relax and watch the show –  keeping your stake handy.

Those are my top five ways to smite your average every day vampire.  “But Tee,” you say “what about holy water?”  My response?  What if your vampire was a Buddhist?  Yeah I thought so!

So how many ways would you kill a vampire?

garlic, holy water, silver, stake, vampires, writing