Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter – My thoughts

August 6th, 2012 by Theresa

Right then. Let’s put the revisionist arguments aside and just roll with the “suspension of belief” shall we? Excellent.

As most of you know, there is one main reason I like this very silly movie. That’s right. Vampires die left right and center in it.  They even take one of my tried and true methods of having them kill each other. *BLISS*


The writers of this romp wisely skipped a great deal of Abe’s actual history.  Smart move. If you’re going for full out ridiculous, real facts have no place in the story.  Abe’s impetus to start taking down the blood suckers starts innocently and poignantly enough – he stood up to a bully and caught the eye of the bad guy. Now on the radar, his family pays the price. But good old Honest Abe made a promise not to do anything foolish. < shakes head > Anyway, once everyone he made that promise to is dead – because that’s the way he is, it’s time to kick some ass.

I’m particularly taken with Abe’s use of an axe – a silver coated axe. Hmm,  time to update my Steampunk outfit. He’s remarkably handy with the weapon and creative in dispatching the bloodsuckers. And for this story it works. What’s the old adage? Blades never need reloading! For the time period, the precious minutes it takes to reload a gun of any kind could cost lives unless you had a steady hand and VERY good aim. ( Note to self: AIM FOR THE EYES! )

As the story progressed the silly was in full force. Abe puts away his axe to tackle politics. Killing vamps is all well and good but there is a bigger game at stake – the protection of his country!  (Personally, I think Abe was trying to dry up the vampire’s food supply. What? It makes sense! Free the slaves, give them some silver and off ya go!) It’s a stretch for me to think that in his 50’s Abe takes up the blade again after the vampires get up close and personal.  But hey, I still paid my matinee price to see the movie, so I’ll shush on that. I did laugh out loud when Abe realized he wasn’t so young anymore.

What I didn’t like was that Harriet Tubman / Sojourner Truth was *not* readily identified until the credits rolled. While she was the most famous person on the Underground Railroad, she wasn’t the only one.

Another thing, where were the snakes? Did I miss them? Hey, I watch the credits until the lights go back up in the theater. Those people worked darn hard and I’m gonna show their unions some respect and watch their names roll by. I swear to cow, there were snake handlers listed. But I didn’t see any snakes!

This movie gets three top hats from me!


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